Next In Person Retreat Scheduled

St. John the Baptist Episcopal Church
Saturday March 14, 2026

Are you tired of living with resentment?

• Is there someone in your life you just can't forgive?
• Do you want to find a more resourceful way,
  beyond resentment, for dealing with bullies in your life?
• Do you need to find self-forgiveness?
• Do you want a more compassionate way of being in the world?

Then bring your resentment and leave without it!

"Wow! 45 years of resentment its gone! Wow!"
comment by retreat participant as she set
herself free from her resentment

In addition to these retreats we also provide practioner forgiveness training programs.

Thank you. Two words seem too few to give you the appreciation I feel for you, your time, your expertise, your wisdom today. I now feel that I can live again. Thank you.
E.A. forgiveness participant.

Forgiveness is not Reconciliation!

One of the main reasons people don't forgive is that they confuse forgiveness with reconciliation.

Forgiveness: Is how you personally resolve what has happened in your past.

Basic Rule of Forgiveness: The primary beneficiary of your forgiveness is yourself. When others have hurt you in the past forgiveness means you get to put down the hurt and leave it behind, rather than carry it resentfully into your future.

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemy to die. Nelson Mandela

Reconciliation: Is an agreement between two or more people on how they will live and work together in the future.

Basic Rule of Reconciliation: Never be reconciled to someone who does not share your values.

Jesus forgave the Romans and the Pharisees, but he was never reconciled to the mission of Rome or the mission of the Pharisees.

Forgiving and Forgetting is Very Unwise

Forgetting bad things is a real problem, because then we will have to repeat them to remember that they are painful.

Sometimes we need to forgive and remember rather than forgive and forget that some people are dangerous and shouldn't be trusted because they haven't demonstrated trustworthy behavior.

For More Information on Forgiveness

Most of this retreat is based on Rob Voyle's book Restoring Hope: Appreciative Strategies to Resolve Resentment and Grief. You can purchase it from The Appreciative Way Bookstore.

Rob has also written a brief description of the forgiveness process in his blog:
Teach Them to Forgive this Sunday and 9/11: Resentment, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation.

Retreat Content

• Create basic internal resources such as the golden thread of life and unconditional love to create a stable foundation for forgiving others:
• Use the three faces of compassion: tenderness, fierceness, and mischievousness as an agent of transformation in the world.
• Discover how you uniquely organize and structure your internal experience of memories of past injuries, resentments, and states of forgiveness:
• Resolve your internal objections and resistance to forgiving; - seeking and satisfying your objections to forgiving to ensure sustainable outcomes:
• Restructure your internal experiences of resentment into internal experiences of forgiveness:
• Create internal resources to enable you to remain grounded and engaged, rather than resentful or avoidant, in the presence of people who violate your values:
• Discover the differences between guilt and shame and how to use the forgiveness strategies to achieve self-forgiveness:

If you would like to find the freedom of forgiveness register for one of our upcoming
Forgiveness Retreats.

Other Programs Related to Forgiveness

In addition to the one-day forgiveness retreat we also provide:

• Multi-Day or Weekend Restoring Hope Retreats for resolving grief and traumatic memories.
• Training program: Teach Them to Forgive for clergy and counselors
  who want to teach others to forgive.
• Congregation program:Teach Your Congregation to Forgive which includes 5 sermon
  and adult education forums to teach the forgiveness material to an entire congregation.

Retreat Format

This retreat is provided in a one-day format. The specific times and schedule will be dependent on the hosting facility. Please check the schedule for location specific times.

This retreat is designed to lead you through a series of processes to enable you to sustainably forgive others and yourself. We will not be talking about the need to forgive or the benefits of forgiving. We will simply focus on the process to sustainably forgive.

Please Note: You Won't be Asked to Share your Story

You have been shamed once and there is no need to be shamed again, I do not need to know who or what you are resenting to set you free from your resentment. - Rob Voyle

You Will Not be asked nor required to share or tell your story to anyone.

Your experience is private and you will work on it in the privacy of your own mind and heart.

In this retreat we will focus on:

• "How" you resent, or the dynamics of resentment rather than the "who" and "what" or the content of your resentment.
• "How" you forgive or the dynamics of forgiveness.
• "How" to stay resourceful, rather than resentful, in the face of bullying.

No Continuing Education Credit

This program is deliberately designed as a personal retreat in contrast to most of our training programs which provide professional continuing education for clergy coaches and therapists. Because it is a personal healing retreat, no continuing education credit is provided.

For Restoring Hope continuing education programs for coaches, clergy, and therapists please see: Restoring Hope Training.

In-Person Retreat Schedule:

St. John the Baptist Episcopal Church
Saturday March 14, 2026

9:15 — 9:30 am Check-in
9:30 am — 12:00 pm Morning Session
12:00 — 1:00 pm Lunch provided
12:30 — 3:00 pm Afternoon session

Costs for Retreat at St. John the Baptist Episcopal Church

Saturday March 14, 2026

This program is offered as a fund raiser for the St. John the Baptist's outreach program for Western Farm Workers

We are asking for a basic donation of $20 to cover the cost of lunch and other workshop expenses. In addition we are asking for a donation for the outreach program.

To determine your donation we ask you to consider what you would pay to be free from the burden of resentment.

Costs and Refund Policies

Registration Refunds

Your registration is completely refundable, minus a 15% service fee, up to seven days before the start of the program. Thereafter the registration fee will be forfeited.

For more information please see our Cancellation Policies.

Accommodation

Day-long programs are typically at a sponsoring church or organization. Lunch may be provided. No additional accommodation is typically provided.

Multi-day retreats are typically held at retreat centers and overnight accommodation may be provided as well as meals between sessions. Commuter options are also typically available.

Because the locations differ accommodation costs will be specified of the specific retreat registration form.

Presenter: Rob Voyle

Rob Voyle is a New Zealand born and trained Mechanical Engineer, Episcopal Priest, and Psychologist. He has a doctorate in clinical psychology from Fuller Theological Seminary in addition to degrees in Theology, Counseling and Mechanical Engineering.

Rob’s employment history includes extensive work as a teacher, an interim pastor, interposed with research and development engineering, behavioral medicine, clinical psychology, coaching and organizational consulting.

Rob is an internationally recognized leader in the use of appreciative inquiry in church settings. He is the Director of the Clergy Leadership Institute and the Founder of The Appreciative Way, a positive way to grow what is life-giving in people and organizations.

While he no longer works as an engineer, Rob sees much of his work as “engineering” solutions for people as they confront the challenges of their lives and work. Rob’s personal mission is to be “helpful, humorous, and healing,” which is manifested in his passion for conducting training. He is a gifted storyteller and has a penchant for mischievously confronting listeners with new insights that are both affirming and liberating.

Rob is the author of several Appreciative Way approaches to life and work including:

• Core Elements of the Appreciative Way
• Creating Cultures of Excellence: An Appreciative Inquiry Based Guide to Mutual Ministry Reviews
• Restoring Hope: Appreciative Strategies to Resolve Grief and Resentment

      and the congregation based teaching programs

• Teach Your congregation How To Forgive
• Yes!³  Creating a Life In Which You Can Say:
  Yes! to God, Yes! to your Neighbor: Yes! to Yourself.

In addition to teaching ministry intensives, Rob also leads one-day workshops for vestries, church boards, and congregation development teams. Please Email Rob if you would like to host a training program in your congregation or organizational setting.